I’m leaving behind trying to convince, argue and complain my way into getting others to show up the way I want them to in my life. Their actions, behaviors and words, when produced as a result of my hand holding do not hold the same weight as when they are produced organically.
I leave behind the overtime hours of pouring energy into moving mountains that need to move on their own.
I’m leaving behind the victim mentality that allows past traumas to keep me chained down, afraid to break free and taste the flavors of life that aren’t doused in safety and security.
I’m leaving behind the victim mentality that allows past traumas to keep me chained down, afraid to break free and taste the flavors of life that aren’t doused in safety and security.
I’m leaving behind the loudness of the crowds hellbent on shaming women for being nothing more than their free selves, whatever that may look like. Women have permission from the depths of their own souls to be whatever the fuck they want to be.
I’m leaving behind censoring my truth just to ensure that others do not feel uncomfortable. With love, all things are possible, including having a grown up honest conversation with someone who needs to hear how they have wronged you.
I’m leaving behind feeling guilty for creating the most important foundation for raising a child, my own. From a shaky core and withering roots, I cannot shine the fullness of the luminosity that it is to be a Mother.
I’m leaving behind the idea that I cannot be loved, and the armor that keeps those who try to settle in with love, out of my soul. Love does not mean perfection, but it does mean leaning in. I leave behind the natural instinct of leaning out and away.
I leave behind the power given to forces that doused my flame. People, places, memories and heartaches, I pull from you the embers that turn it into meaning. Embracing the shape that I will become as I walk out of the ashes only to create my own version of the fire.
